19 | London | All things poignant or amusing | I love my sassyjabbs
For me, there is no “overcoming” childhood trauma in the sense that it no longer effects me in any way. It will always have some level of effect on me.
At one point I was exploring the concept of grief (a friend/mentor had died unexpectedly) and came to the realization that grief is not something you move through and past, but something that moves through you. I had always imagined it as a forest that you entered, walk through for a while, and eventually exited. But that was inaccurate. It is more like the wind. Sometimes it is still and you cannot feel it at all, and other times it is so strong you can barely stand, but it is the one that is moving and changing around you while you stand still or walk through it. It is never gone completely, but it’s also never going to always be there in a debilitating way. It moves through us in a perceptible way until it doesn’t.
So the goal is not to “overcome” it. In my experience, these are the four steps that will help you heal and thrive after surviving abuse and/or trauma:
- Accept that it happened.
- Eliminate self-blame.
- Show empathy toward all your feelings.
- Remember you are valuable.
To be more specific, 1. Accept that what happened DID in fact happen. Blocking it out or bottling it up won’t make it go away, it only prolongs the healing process. 2. Recognize that you are not to blame. Nothing that happened to you was a result of your own actions and nothing about who you are as a person means you deserved it. 3. Show yourself empathy for any lingering feelings about what happened. All your feelings that are a result of your trauma are valid, whether that’s anger or fear or sadness or relief or a lack of feeling anything at all. and 4. Remember that it doesn’t effect your value or self worth as a person. You are NOT dirty or damaged or less deserving of respect because of what happened to you. You are still strong and loveable and deserving of respect and kindness.
Working on those four steps will the easier it is to move through life without dragging the weight of your abuse behind you wherever you go. You may not be able to “overcome” past trauma, but you CAN survive it and live a happy, fruitful life despite it.
sorry but a relationship where you forbid each other to talk to the opposite sex isn’t a relationship at all. love is about admiration not possession, we might live in a world where materialism is acceptable but people aren’t the same you can’t control someone like that
*sends this to all the couples at my school*
False rape accusations are an anomaly.
True rape accusations are a norm.
You’re, quite literally, more likely to be killed by a comet than falsely accused of rape.
Re-blog now, read later.
"Because 1 in 33 men will be raped in his lifetime, men are 82,000x more likely to be raped than falsely accused of rape. It seems many of us would do well to pay more attention to how rape culture affects us all than be paranoid about false accusers.”
I used to be really embarrassed when my parents would mess up their English but as I got older I realized my parents know Malayalam, Hindi, Tamil, AND English.
They’re way smarter than I am. So I started to chill.
Somebody start talking about how immigrants are dumb because they can’t speak English properly. I’d fucking like to see you try and even remember four different languages, you elitist and racist fuckbaby.
I think one of the reasons the Harry Potter Epilogue was so poorly received was because the audience was primarily made up of the Millennial generation.
We’ve walked with Harry, Ron and Hermione, through a world that we thought was great but slowly revealed…
do not let anyone make you feel like shit for putting yourself first
you are the only person that is guaranteed to be with you throughout your whole life so you might as well have a loving relationship with yourself